I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
