I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
