He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal