Barsexuality is the new black.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
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Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex