Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.

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(806): View more from Texas

A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"

(501): View more from Arkansas

Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...

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(540): View more from Virginia

I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.

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(404): View more from Georgia

You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.

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(714): View more from California

you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"

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(703): View more from Virginia

The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week

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(303): View more from Colorado

I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER

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