I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
