actually, I'm a sock model
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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