i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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