I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It was a blind-side dick pic.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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