So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Is Oprah even human
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
