my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
