Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
