apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize