definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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