I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
