I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
