haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
