I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
