oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
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Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
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If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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