A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
