dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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