Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
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