Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
