"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
