DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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