She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
