i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
