I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
