i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
