I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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