We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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