Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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