We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
