dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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