All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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