john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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