Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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