I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
this will be a night to untag.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
