Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
