I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
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the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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