you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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