Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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