whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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