I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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