it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
