She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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