Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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