butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
