My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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