I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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