We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
