We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
