Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I can't turn off my feet"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
