Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
