He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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