you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
