i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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