why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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