Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
