i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i now understand why vodka
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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