69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
