This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
