too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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