im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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