I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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